it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
