i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just high enough for therapy.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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