what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
