i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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