It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
