Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
