did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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