i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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