Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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