ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
