these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
