mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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