he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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