I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
