The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
