I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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