Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
