what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Mom said you looked used
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
