I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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