what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I cockslap morals
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
