super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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