I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize