I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
