I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
