But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i may or may not be watching the land before time
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
