Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
