Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
