OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
