Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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