i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
