seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
