He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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