found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
