Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
