Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
