If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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