But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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