She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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