I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
