This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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