My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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