i permit you to call me
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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