Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
