I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
So. Much. Porn.
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