I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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