It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
