he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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