There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
