a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
