One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
