A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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