there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
