My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
