I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
