shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
