WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
