he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
