HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
