Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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