capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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